DO NOT READ IF YOU HAVE NEVER PLAYED MASS EFFECT OR HAVE NOT PLAYED MASS EFFECT 3.
I decided that after two heartbreaking moments in Mass Effect 3 that I would blog down my feelings per character as I go along and not publish this blog until I have finished the game, it's something different for me to do and may turn out interesting.
I started a new career in ME3 after doing the last mission in ME2 again, I couldn't cope without Garrus in my Shepards life, I managed to save everyone with the decisions I had a gut feeling about but my crew was always going to be dead unless I restarted ME2 completely.
Grunt
When doing the Rachni mission and Grunt had gone last stand at the end of the mission I thought I would be able to fight alongside him when I made the choice on who to 'leave' but my logic was that if I saved the queen then she would be able to hide better this time and she would be helpful against the Reapers, rather than let her die because I wanted to make sure Grunt lived because he was a favourite character of mine.I nearly cried after he jumped off the cliff and I was convinced that was the last of him as it already seemed quite die hard based on what he had been through already but no, he survived and I figured the game was less merciless in killing loved characters as I had anticipated.
Mordin
I had a feeling something bad would happen to Mordin but I didn't expect it to be his death, I did hope for it to have more sentimentality to it for me as he made me laugh and I liked his personality a lot. I think because I was mildly distracted talking to my friend on Skype as they played a little bit ahead of me on their fourth play through, I was unable to concentrate as much and avoided crying buckets but I still cried at his death and felt depressed for the rest of the night, unable to face the game itself.
I believed in him though and I am a fan of the Krogans, what he did was right and I wish there was another way. It made happy in a sad way when finding Mordins data pad the next day after Shepards party, but something he would do.
Thane (and the point I start writing this)
When I met Thane in ME2 I thought he was pretty cool. The conversations I had with him in ME2 made me very undecided whether to commit to him or not, it was always going to be Garrus but I felt that Thane had a sad story and I felt sorry for him, I liked him and in a weird way I felt it made more sense in the physical romantic way for him and Shepard to be able to enjoy each other as well.
But then I figured that he has already had a wife and son and he still has his son, Shepard has nothing and Garrus has never had a lover as far as I know in the series, so I had to tell Thane that basically his short life wasn't for me and I chose Garrus after all, but still loved Thane.
In ME3 as I started again with Garrus, Mordin and Grunt being alive this time, a friend spoilered slightly for me by mentioning casually about Thanes message to you about him dying, I had hoped he would survive through ME3 as he said he had months to live in ME2, technically he did but after what happened to cause his death (and by my favourite voice actor no less).
I did not receive this message and I looked out for it all the time by making sure I read messages and making sure I checked out the hospital whenever I could before I received Kolyats message about Thane's memorial. I researched and apparently it's a common bug that you never receive Thanes message, I never saw Thanes last act that caused him to be critically injured but I looked it up on youtube and cried like a baby in response to it, I also cried a little at the memorial held afterwards that I could at least appreciate with my Shepard, it topped it off by having cherry blossoms in a vase next to his portrait, as they are also my favourite flowers.
After everyone has left I read the three video messages Kolyat leaves for me to watch, it makes me feel incredibly guilty that he has tried to contact me and I have been unable to receive those messages, perhaps it was something I was doing wrong? I never realised I could even receive video messages which I assume could only be received in my cabin, I assume I could only see Thane if I had seen the messages, no one had told me they were video rather than written and I never look at combat videos, I guess we'll find out when I attempt to play through my original choices as a career.. it saddens me that it may not have been the bug for me.
Legion
When I first met Legion in the previous game I thought he was cool. I knew a little about him before meeting him and knew a lot of people liked him that played the games, so I had some expectations already, I liked him but I couldn't bond with him, he was logical but the way he explained things didn't quite compute in my own mind, but I understood the basics.
His time in the third game was brief in my opinion, but I was happy to see Legion again and he provided some humour to make me like him a lot more, plus his story and his part in the game gave a lot more depth to his character. I understood him as an AI rather than a walking computer with millions of minds combined into one being - he had personality.
I thought we had lost him after becoming one with the census mission and when we didn't, I figured he was safe and all was well, even after fighting a giant Reaper. His goodbye wasn't long or dramatic, but combined with the beautiful scenery around him at his time of departure from the series, I was welling up and sad to see him go, I never cried but I felt very sad yet sympathetic. A part of him now lives in every Geth and he is the true creator of the Geth in my eyes, he is their god, not the Quarians.
He was better than Shepherd, but he needed her to be able to succeed in what he wanted to do. It won't be the same without Legion.
Miranda
I never really cared for Miranda. When I first met her in the second game, my impression of her was that was stuck up her own ass. I had that lasting impression for two years since I didn't play the second game for a long time after getting a few hours into it, but when I returned to it and finished it, I had a better impression of her.
This still didn't make me like her any better, so when Miranda died I felt numb, I only felt sorry for her sister and a little bit of emotion, but other than that I did not care and did not see any loss, I even observed her chest and wondered how was she meant to be so perfect that her boobs did not go outwards as she laid there dying, although it was to take my eyes off her annoying forehead and squinty face while she did not shut up in her Australian soap opera audition to Shepard.
Seeing Tali drunk was definitely worth it all even if I had cared for Miranda the same way I did for the other characters in the game. Her emergency induction port proved very useful and I could admire and respect Tali more because I could relate to her opinion of Miranda, she put it better than I could and I agree that Miranda was annoying but she had her heart in the right place. Hearing her drunken ramblings to Javik made it even better. I love you Tali, it's a shame you're straight, apparently <3.
Cortez
I didn't like Cortez initially as he seemed suspicious and someone I couldn't trust because he was new and unknown to me. Briefly I would walk in to conversations with Vega and Cortez and assumed I wasn't able to talk with him, I didn't discover the map function until much later on and only had the chance to talk to him before the last mission.
I had grown quite fond of him as I had learned more about him at the latter stage of the game, so I was a little sad to witness him dying in the shuttle crash and didn't want to believe he would die, being that he was only starting to be more of a character to me.
At the end of the first game I based my decision on the fact I liked Captain Anderson and I liked his voice, I hadn't delved into my 'hobby' of having favourite voice actors etc and I currently love Keith David as one of my favourites, so I was glad I chose the way I did in the first game, even if it was a bit silly, I just did not want Anderson to die and he was the first character I became attached too, I find it difficult to fall in love with a game like a book or a movie, but this whole series has changed that for me and Anderson was like a father in the life of my Shepard.
During the third game I felt even closer to him because he was there when I started the game and he was kind, sharing, compassionate and brave. He looked out for everyone before himself and always put every race before himself. He was nostalgic and that brought more empathy towards him for me personally.
When Captain Anderson died and Shepard wasn't looking good, I had figured we had made it, he had survived and he survived until the end and was with me at the beginning, he was definitely the father roll for my Shepard, the father she didn't have. I cared a hundred times more for Anderson than Shepards mother who helped to build the Crucible.
Anderson definitely is up there with Mordin and Thane for the most tragic and heartfelt deaths for me in Mass Effect and when Garrus died initially for me in Mass Effect 2. I had no choice on these deaths apart from Cortez and that was a poor mistake made by myself.
My Choices
Choice 1: Did I want to destroy the Reapers as I had set out to do? That was the plan, but I felt it wasn't right after speaking to Leviathan, I understood why the Reapers harvested the stronger races in order to keep some form of peace and keep rotating the cycles and why they invented an AI in order to be able to process his. I understood why the AI did that to its own creators, as it said itself, it was only doing what it was asked to do.
I also believed that there would be peace for so many years before civilisation got bored and created problems with each other again, simply because civilisations like to create problems in order to solve them once they are advanced enough. Being at peace and happy is simply too busy for any race and would defeat the point of the Reapers doing their job for thousands of years and just prove everything right and end up with many wars, or end up with an alternative to the Reapers or recreate them in order to find a solution to the peace, since it did take Reapers to make every race unite in the first place and an influencing person.
Choice 2: Controlling the Reapers and being part of them did tempt me mildly but I was stubborn after being so defiant and fighting against Cerberus all this time with their crazy idea to control the Reapers. I also wanted my Shepard to live if possible and to be told I would be doing basically the same as Legion did for the Geth, I was put off by this despite the idea being nice that I would life on forever in the Reapers by doing this, and they would then be unique.
Choice 3: Synthesis was the option that the AI worked out and realised to be the best possible option but not what they could do thousands of years beforehand because they didn't have Shepard or anything close to it that would be able to make it happen. Shepard was the key to make this choice the best and to keep peace between the races.
I had hoped Shepard would live if I had chosen this option but I did think for the future of civilisation before Shepard and this made sense, no one would die and it did still pose the same threat as the first choice in that things would turn violent in the future, but at least there was no line between organic and synthetic anymore and every race and civilisation would benefit from knowledge from many thousands of years ago.
The cut scene after the credits did feel incredibly cheesy and slightly confusing.
Shepard
At the beginning of the second game I knew Shepard couldn't die, I had also had a slight spoiler experience with my ex boyfriend who played it when I started the first game. I had not played the second game in over a year from my last attempt at playing it and I think this caused me to have a bit of gap with the love for Shepard, but I was still fond of her because of my experience with the first game.
By the end of the second game I had become very attached to my Shepard and I started the third game pretty quickly after completing it. It was refreshing to finally see my Shepard how I had tried to make her look in the first game, and I had even changed her hair from red to purple, using the same model of her that I had created with my initial 'bad choices' career which I felt was too difficult for me to keep up after a few hours before redoing the ending of the second game and completing the third game with it.
Her love interest was always important to me. It was difficult in the second game whether I wanted to choose Thane over my initial choice of Garrus, and I had chosen Liara in the first game since I didn't like the other choices I had which were very limited (Plus the scene is still my favourite romance to watch!) and I still had a thing for Liara despite choosing Garrus in the end. By the end of the third game it was still Garrus and I wanted to keep Shepard alive for his sake, but also had to put civilisation before him which was where my decision became so terrifying as I did not want to see Garrus heartbroken.
When Shepard disappeared after making her choice with the AI, I was terrified she would actually die, I had hoped things would be fine as she said no goodbyes or prayers or thoughts cast out to anyone, but it was the end and she was nearly dead by that point. I only felt dreadfully sorry for Garrus who had to live with her choice, but I felt better knowing that Garrus would also take pride in that they were lovers and she died for a greater cause to be proud of, she would want him to continue and become Archangel again because she couldn't do that anymore... Again.
Left to right is ME3 to 1.
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