Positive logic on life

So it has been bothering me lately how come of my friends let life get to them a lot more than it should, in my opinion anyway.

In the last two months I've gone through a real bad phase in mental break downs, depression and anxiety. I thought it couldn't get worse but it definitely could and I felt like I was on the edge of insanity, at times I was wide eyed terrified.

Without going into that though, I came to the conclusion that  everyone and everything dies eventually, whatever happens in the after life we just don't know. We don't know what will happen when we're older and technology advances, but we do know that we're advancing quite quickly now and whatever comes our way we just have to accept.

I chose not to have children even if I could go ahead in fertility treatment once I reached a suitable weight because I wouldn't want to create life only for it to live and die, because that's the sad truth and with the mental health in my family, I wouldn't want to pass it on.

But since we are here and this is all we know to go by, then why not do the things we want? Why not confess your feelings to someone, tell someone how you honestly feel and not hold back at all?

Why not get that tattoo you're nervous about getting because of what people will say and think about it? If you want it then go for it, these days you can have them removed which is nice. The same goes for piercings, don't be reckless and impulsive about it, but go for it.

For me I am using this logic on what I want to do in life and I'm becoming more confident to look for work once I'm ready and tell myself that there's not much point holding back if I can help it because it's hindering my life, if I can't make money then I can't do the things I want to do (buy presents for people, make my home look nice, have pets and go travelling on holidays and take pictures.)

I want to lose weight but I'm hindered by how my life is currently, although I do try to at least tone down my food and always think to myself that in the long run it will help because so long as I'm not hungry, I don't need to eat, and the less I eat, the less I require to do exercise although I prefer to do it for my health once I'm in the situation to be capable of more than walking.

I dye my hair because I love doing so, I love having different hair colours and seeing what looks cool, it's partially out of vanity as well as I believe my face is my best feature and I like to take pictures anyway, but that's my own thing and we all have guilty pleasures. For someone who doesn't smoke or do drugs I think that's acceptable, I don't even drink unless it's social and that happens maybe once every 6-8 weeks.

So yeah, why are you holding back when ultimately it doesn't really matter. :) (ZOMG, SOMETHING HAPPIER HAS BEEN BLOGGED! Although I still miss Robin.. even last night I cried)

If you feel lifes past experiences will mean it will keep happening again and again, then just don't let it. I know it's easier said than done, but it's true, why give up and make it worse and let it win?

Ultimately you're just leaving yourself even more vulnerable and feeling sorry for yourself, losing out in the better experiences by trying all the time, and even if it still feels hopeless because it all feels like it's still going wrong by trying, still try. If you don't, how will you ever know? Just try not to let it get to you and know that life just does that to everyone, some more than others.