2014-2015

So 2014 gave me new friends, people I've grown closer with, an experience of living in my own flat for almost a year and I learnt from it all and have a slightly newer outlook on life.

I also adopted a new male in my life called Robin. He's my baby and very important to me. When we first got him I was terrified and a good friend came and slept over to make sure I wouldn't do something stupid, as I had just come back from a few weeks away after the death of Robin Williams and it wasn't safe for me to be alone, so I adopted a cat and named him exactly after the actor, but the responsibility made me doubt myself an incredible amount because I wasn't good enough and I felt the majority of people I knew were against me having a cat.

But it turns out I can be a cat mummy after all. I love him to bits and you know when you're in love when you wonder how you coped without them.

The negative parts were definitely from losing Robin Williams and trying to kill myself twice in the year. Those were dark times and living alone was made incredibly difficult too.

I lost some friends, I didn't go to as many events, had 2 guinea pigs and a hamster I couldn't look after and my two hamsters passed away after living good lives with me.

I struggled financially too, and I was diagnosed as to mentally unstable to work. This of course felt depressing in itself and made me want to work my weight off asap because I needed to do so. Accepting it's going to be hard is the worst part, but the feeling of being looked down on for being mentally unwell is worse and eats away at me slowly.

So 2015 should be much better, it sorta came suddenly for me as I've been focused on living in a new house share with friends and being two hours from my parents now which is scary.

But to start the year with a bang, it's Disneyland at the end of this month and I'm growing excited and nervous of the disappointment it might lead too. Keeping my expectations low is very difficult when you're about to experience your childhood dream to visit the place you thought you'd never see.

So yeah! Bring it on new year.