Relationships are tough, but worth it sometimes.

This one is a little more personal, but I feel it's the best approach to get my relief out of my system.

Firstly, I don't tend to celebrate Valentine's. I like going out for a meal or having a home made meal, doing something quiet, cosy and nice but not out of the normal routine for a special treat 'just because.'

But since my 6 month anniversary with my partner is coming up in a few days, I am made extra paranoid because that is usually the time when my relationship is either going to fail, or it's going to be a good relationship for however long before it ends in whatever way.

So I had to have a talk with him about things that had been concerning me lately, get things out there. If it resulted in us breaking up then I was ready for it. I had suspicions about how things had been going and why, and I was convinced by the end of the week that was it, I would be single and lose the person I've grown to know as my friend, and someone I care for and love.

I couldn't deal with us hanging out for 3 days a week any more if we did break up. I wasn't sure about it. Probably have him round for watching wrestling still, and to go to the cinema and events and such, but it would be painful because I'd want to cuddle him, appreciate his company and being there in my life, someone I knew it was okay to feel that way with, and would acknowledge and return it in their own way too. After all, he has been my friend more than my lover and it takes time to really fall in love with someone. We didn't know each other long before getting together either. We're really quite different, but the same goes to the things we have in common. Some things that I think neither of us know or realise yet, because we seem to be getting better at discovering things via better communication.

He has been there for me in his own ways. He has not been afraid of hurting me in order for me to be able to see what I am doing wrong and grow stronger from that. I'm glad I haven't lost him after talking to him. We're still together, doing better than ever I feel, but that'll show more in the future than right now. I've had my first freakin' driving lesson this week! That's progress if anything else fails to show it! and it's thanks to his support that resulted in that, that he hasn't given up on my crazy brain like I anticipated. Wow..

I am less afraid of him now too. Something I have issues with with anyone in the past and present and not with/for anyone specially. The more I care, the higher risk of me being afraid on whatever scale. This feels great.

So appreciate that you can share so much and be yourself with someone and they're still there, they've not run off and they still like or love you. Know that it takes time for things to grow, and believe in yourself.