Rebel.

I sometimes I allow my mind wonder to what happens in the after life.  My belief is nothing. Because I cannot comprehend that there's an existence after dying and if there is, I can't imagine always being aware.  My body goes cold,  a fear goes through my body. I don't want to be aware of my existence.  It makes me wish someone else understood this.  Was reckless too.  Did things from their emotions and realised where I'm coming from.

I wish my accidental break up could be given a second chance. Because it was worked and I liked it being broken.  It was like challenging life and embracing the broken together.  Not feeling alone. Bring able to fight that fear of after life and think of the now. That I could stand up to death.

Now it's gone. I messed up.  He's a 'normal'  person now and follows emotions I now don't understand. He's different and doesn't understand me any more.

Now everything is overwhelmingly terrifying again. And I have to build up my strength again to face it alone.

It doesn't necessarily mean I'm always reckless. But if you face that you have someone you could be with if you just fixed it and have something even better..  Then why not do it?  Why tell yourself that you can't because that's what society believes to be correct? Fuck society and the public opinion because it's how you feel.

Be spontaneous.  Go and do that thing you want to do..  Why hold back? As long as it doesn't mess things up to do it then why let your own life be wasted?