So it's Christmas and it doesn't feel like it, my friend's asleep and I'm wondering when it'll feel like Christmas, it felt like it last night and in bits at Strat LAN for me and I'm not religious so I'm more for the commercial side of it I think because I enjoy buying presents for others with the justification of it being Christmas.
I've always enjoyed buying things for others, I don't feel worthy of spending much money on myself and I feel I owe my friends more than I can give in friendship at the best of times, it also mean I clutter less if I don't buy things for myself and I find it exciting to surprise someone with something and even better if they genuinely really like it.
I like to mix and match practical presents you can use at home, to gadgets, games and clothing or accessories that you wouldn't usually find or think about buying for yourself despite liking it because either you can't afford to spend money on yourself in a similar way to me, or that it's one of those things you'd like to get but can't find the justification to purchasing it and therefore it makes an excellent present instead.
I used to make a list of things people have pointed out they liked during the year, or general hobbies and interests they have to make it easier, but ever since I started becoming more and more poor I stopped doing it and in the end I deleted that list, resulting in me being quite clueless when it came to finding things that would suit the needs to the person but wouldn't be thrown out a year later because it's literally just using space or just isn't used much or even breaks easily etc.
Plus it's an amazing feeling when you've got it right and they actually really like the present, it makes you feel like you've done it right and you've made them happy, they can genuinely have fun with the present or appreciate it and it's not just a novel present just for Christmas or a few weeks or something either, I personally appreciate things like bath bombs because they're a treat I wouldn't usually buy for myself, so to be able to stock up on them via occasions etc is fantastic and it doesn't clutter either, Steam games are similar to this as well and I have an Amazon list for many other things I'd like for different reasons but I know I wouldn't be able to fit everything if I suddenly had a few thousand quid to be able to buy everything on the lists, I would also need to move home and as a result those items wouldn't be appreciated as much as they would be when receiving them now and then.
I received a Garrus figure I eyed up in Forbidden Planet a few weeks ago in Southampton and I couldn't afford it back then, I was disappointed as I had always been fascinated by the more serious figurines that were made well, I only have smaller models and figures from animes and games that are more cartoony and look less serious, so when I received this figure I was genuinely happy as I could have my very own real life Garrus and he looks incredible in detail, his weight fascinates me as he's not made light and cheap but neither is he stupidly expensive either from what I recall, he's genuinely value for money and although I initially felt bad thinking of that, I also knew he was going to be with me for years and always appreciated because of the sentimentality I have for his character in the Mass Effect games and how the games actually caused me to cry because I had become that attached to the characters related to mine and the choices I had made, not only this but I can reflect upon the friend who purchased it for me and think back to how he was there for me throughout the series in many Skype conversations and his enthusiasm for the games encouraged me to keep playing through and not stop via distractions either.
So things that can have added sentimental feelings between you and the person is what I aim for as well, although it's more difficult and risky to know what is important to them about your relationship with them and you can only hope they clock onto what you're aiming to achieve by it like I did with Garrus but when you do it right it's such an amazing happy feeling and the fact that Christmas justifies it actually makes it feel like Christmas for me personally because I'm providing many happy thoughts and feelings as a result of the time and money spent on providing great presents for my loved ones and showing how much I consider and care for them too.
Of course you can't always do that and just being able to buy them a game on Steam or a small gift to multiple people is just as good to let them know you've thought of them and care for them and therefore would like them to enjoy a token of your appreciation because words sometimes aren't the best idea without reason to say how you feel for them and it can come off wrong to them sadly if you message them out of nowhere explaining how much the person means to you, it could be taken wrongly I've found but a simple present to them and showing you're thoughtful will make them smile and feel a little more special on the day because someone hasn't forgotten them and cares for them still. I'm not sure if I make sense in this paragraph but it does in my head and I'm naff with using the right words.
It's also about the company and having people you enjoy being around and being able to chat and play games and take pictures etc. Last night myself and a few friends played a game online and over microphones and webcams, I felt Christmassy and opened my presents as it was past midnight and I felt excited to open them and laugh while playing a game that made me laugh already. I had the company of my friend next to me and he was appreciated for making the effort to spend time with me over Christmas and I genuinely loved that we could be together via the internet and muck about and have a few drinks to be extra merry too, it's not as good as in person but it's the next best thing.
Family is also important and this year will be the first Christmas since 2009 that I'll be able to see my family in person on the day which I look forward too, I'll also be able to sit down and watch Doctor Who which is exciting in itself as well, last year Rosie has passed away just under two weeks before Christmas and it was always on my mind at the time but this year we have Dolly and it'll be her first Christmas with us too.
I just wish I had the money to be able to buy presents and wrap them for people, I find a lot of hype in presents arriving almost at the same time on the internet and wrapping them, then having them sit somewhere in the house until it gets closer to Christmas to hand them out to people, it's the excitement knowing I've put thought in each of those presents to people and seeing just how many there are makes me excited and happy and fairly confident that none of them will not be appreciated but then it's a bit like a lottery when they open it in front of you and you're not sure if they'll like it or not, you feel like a winner if they genuinely do.
Anyway I have a Christmas dinner to make and I'm looking forwar
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